The Phantom Pains of the Past

Posted on Sat Dec 28th, 2024 @ 9:32pm by Commander Isabella dei`Silvisi & Lieutenant Commander Zodrac Kosh

2,651 words; about a 13 minute read

Exiting the turbo-lift and stepping out onto the bridge, Isabella clasped her hands behind her back and glanced around the bridge as she slowly made her way towards her seat. Most of the bridge stations were being monitored by mid ranking officers who were taking advantage in the Endeavour's low alert status to log a few hours of bridge duty. More than likely, that would change soon, although Isabella was one of the many officers who seriously hoped that the dark cloud or curse that had loomed over the Endeavour previously would dissipate. It would be nice, for a change, for the Endeavour to conduct a mission without having everything that could possibly go wrong occur.

As she glanced about the bridge, Isabella's eyes fell on Lieutenant Commander Zodrac Kosh, the Cardassian officer who had been assigned as chief of security and tactical. Pausing briefly, she quickly reflected on her own thoughts over having a Cardassian Starfleet officer not only serving on the same ship as her but also being a member of the same senior staff as her. She herself held no ill will towards the Cardassians as a people, although she did harbor a sentiment to see those who had committed atrocities be brought to justice. Isabella had served aboard a medical frigate along the front lines during the Dominion War, and being someone who had been raised in the medical field all her life she had to be honest and admit that the horrors she had witnessed in the sickbay ward on board the Nightingale had held a special place in her memories that she tried very hard to forget. Sadly, the best she could do was push those memories back and try not to dwell upon them.

Her brief moment passed, and Isabella turned and walked towards Kosh's station. Coming to a stop, she offered a friendly smile. "Commander Kosh, I'm afraid that I haven't made the time to welcome you to the Endeavour before now," she said. "I'm Commander dei`Silvisi, the executive officer."

Zodrac looked over to dei` Slivisi as she approached. He raised a brow, almost instinctively expecting he had done something wrong. The Cardassian took a moment and looked to the XO, removing his Bajoran ring from his ear, having forgot to take it off when he left his quarters. Like many others, it had the crest of his wife's family, which was probably off putting seeing it on a Cardassian of all things. When she introduced herself, he gave her a bit of a smile, before replying. "Honored to meet you, Commander. And to be aboard this ship." He was still feeling at ease. Unless it was duty related, many people kept there distance from it. It's why he missed Intel work.

Isabella raised an eyebrow for a very brief moment as she considered the reasons why he might have removed his ear ring before she arrived, however she decided that her curiosity would have to wait for another time. "I understand that your family is here aboard the Endeavour as well. I hope they are all settling in well enough," she said.

"Yes, Commander." Zodrac replied quickly. "They've been settling in well, actually." He seemed to pause. Maybe because there was nothing else left to say or he was thinking of something else. Maybe there was more and he was reluctant to bring it up. Regardless, he took a moment to gather his thoughts before adding. "My daughter is eager to start school and my wife is just as eager to return to duty."

"Your wife is a security officer assigned to the Endeavour, if I remember correctly," Isabella said as she tilted her head slightly to one side. Technically, there were regulations in place forbidding officers in the same chain of command to be involved in any type of personal relationship. However, technically, the Kosh's relationship didn't violate Starfleet regulations. The thought passed quickly, and Isabella dismissed it easily. "And if I'm not mistaken, your wife is Bajoran?"

And there was the first hurdle. He thought with a slight smile. Zodrac found it was difficult for people to grasp his relationship with his wife and family, before throwing out how she could do better because he was a Cardassian. Followed by accusations regarding the Dominion War and how his people killed there mother, brother, daughter, sister, father's, and brother's nephew former roommate. He tried to pay it little mind, but he couldn't help but be bothered. Finally, he replied softly with a nod, his smile still on his face. "Yes, she s Bajoran. Which makes my daughter half Bajoran and half Cardassian."

Isabella raised her eyebrow just slightly, but that was the only reaction that she allowed. She understood that affection and love could be found anywhere, even in the most unlikeliest of places. She also knew that it wasn't her place to judge, as she had no knowledge of either the Cardassian before her or his wife. Clasping her hands behind her back, she nodded. "Then the ear ring you removed earlier is a symbol of your bond and marriage. Unless I'm mistaken, it's significance is similar to the traditional wedding ring on Earth," she said.

"Yes it is." Zodrac replied. It was the ear ring. Of course it was the earring. Starfleet policy when it came to Bajaran earrings was shaky. While the earrings were allowed due to their traditions, the policy soon because a case by case bases. However, a Cardassian wearing one, generally rubbed many officers the wrong way so it became a common reaction to request he take t off. Traditionally by other Bajoran officers. "I've grown accustomed to wearing it n my quarters and forgot to remove it when I left for my duty shift. I'll try to remember for my next time."

"You misunderstand me, Commander," Isabella said as she looked up at the Cardassian officer. "I want you to feel free to wear it, even if you're on duty. As Starfleet regulations don't forbid human officers from wearing wedding rings, I see no reason why we can't make allowances for Bajoran customs. The few Bajoran officers we have on board are allowed to wear their ear rings, so there is already a precedence."

"I understand..." Zodrac replied softly. "Except, in my case, those officers are actually Bajoran. It's been my experience that me wearing one, married to a Bajoran or not, is felt as an affront to Bajarans and other Starfleet Officers." He paused for a minute, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked around at everyone on the bridge, finally locking eyes with Commander dei` Silvisi. "That last thing is sure to cause a huge uproar during my service onboard. Mainly because my daughter, being half Cardassian, would get cause up in that uproar." He let out a deep sigh and added. "May we speak in private?"

"Of course," Isabella said with a polite nod. Glancing around the bridge, she waved her hand towards the next senior officer to take the conn before she turned and headed to the corridor behind the bridge. An office compartment that hadn't been assigned to any one particular function yet was set just off of the bridge, and Isabella was glad to see that it was empty. She waited until the doors slid closed behind Kosh before she politely waved for him to sit down as she took the chair behind the desk.

Kosh followed the Commander into the empty room and waited to hear the sound of the door closing behind him before taking the suggested seat. He took a few minutes to get comfortable before clearing his throat and finally speaking. "I know my presence makes many officers uncomfortable. More so, me wearing a Starfleet Uniform. My people haven't exactly made a great impression. The Occupation. The Klingon-Cardassian War. The Dominion War. All moments of the Cardassian peoples massive ego-trip revealing itself to the universe. Unfortunately, for some of them, I serves as an Officer of the Cardassian Militia who did what he was ordered to during those times. I have... accepted a lot of the punishment dished out by others due to personal events during those times. Many people deserve their pound of flesh, so I take it as it comes. My concern is my daughter. She was born after all that. She barely knowns anything about those atrocities, but it still worries me that she may take the same kind of abuse for simply being the child of a Cardassian."

Isabella frowned thoughtfully as she listened, knowing that he had a very valid point. Unfortunately, she didn't have any easy answers. "I understand your position and your fears," she finally said. "And I wish I could honestly tell you that things for you and your family will get easier. However, I also know that if that does happen, it will take quite some time. You, and I mean you personally, will also be forced to prove yourself until you begin to be accepted. Some officers are going to be very upset to see a Cardassian on a Starfleet ship, much less wearing a Starfleet uniform. However, I would like to point out that other officers in Starfleet have overcome similar prejudice in even joining Starfleet. But, I think you already knew that when you elected to join. Just as you knew that your children would have to face the same obstacles. People are going to judge you and sadly your daughter for simply being Cardassian, but I don't believe that anyone aboard the Endeavour will actually try to physically harm your child. She may face isolation and perhaps some of the other children may say things that are insulting, and I'm afraid that we can only handle those situations when they occur."

Isabella paused for a moment before she continued. "I will tell you that I will do my best to support you and your family for as long as you're aboard this ship," she said.

Zodrac nodded is head at the Commander. She made some good points, but they were all points he already know. Neither of them couldn't control the reactions of the crew when it came to him, considering the history his people have and how recent its affected everyone else, but it didn't change his concern for his daughter being thrown into it in some way. "I understand, Commander, but it will be difficult for me to disciple anyone for it without them accusing me of being bias because their hostility may be directed toward me."

He paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath, before continuing. "I don't know how much file you have access to, but I did wear a Cardassian Uniform before coming to Starfleet. I worked at a camp, hidden on a planet clamed by Cardassia, which was filled with a mixture of alien species. I did what I was told and, like may Cardassan's before me, kept my feelings about it to myself. Until, I couldn't stand it anymore. So, I did something about it and helped free as many as I could. I turned against my people, my home, my lineage, just to redeem my soul from everything I knew and saw. I escaped with Bajorrans who were none to pleased to see a Cardassian helping them. I did what I was told, even then. I let them restrain me and lock me away in a room. I didn't complain when they held back food or threatened to beam me off into space every ten minutes. They were all alone and in enemy territory, running from Cardassians who were just going to drag them back to the very thing they just escaped, so at one point they had no choice but to seek my help." Zodrac let out a deep sigh, crossing his arms over his chest, as he concluded. "So, believe me when I say, I am no stranger to working at gaining peoples trusts when it comes to dealing with me. I went through the same thing when Starfleet picked us up and took me away to question me. If it wasn't for an Admiral who saw the good I could do, I may have never had a chance to put on a Starfleet Uniform. So, while my file shows I may have earned this Uniform, it doesn't mean I don't have show it to everyone else here. I just hope, my presence, doesn't cause so much of a stir that you have no choice but to send me and my family away."

"The fact that you wear a Starfleet uniform is mostly likely the cause for some of the reactions you receive," Isabella said thoughtfully. "Many people will know that you have earned the right to wear it, whether or not they understand how you earned it. But it is the fact that you are a Cardassian who wears the uniform of a Starfleet officer that might draw some of the animosity directed towards you. It is also the fact that you only passed the officer candidate course instead of going through the Academy that might draw some ire from others. And of course, you are a Cardassian. That fact alone draws very strong feelings, even today. When you combine all of these facts together, you arrive at a very uncomfortable situation. That situation is, unfortunately, the one you find yourself in. Unless you act out in such a manner that leaves the captain and myself with no other option but to request your reassignment, I don't see that happening. But, I do see that you will have to prove to the other officers on board the Endeavour that the position you hold and the uniform you wear have been earned by you. You will always have to prove yourself, until at least the day comes that you are accepted for the officer you are. And if you are sent away, that process will most likely start all over for you again."

"I would have preferred to go through the Academy, like everyone else, but the decision was made to keep me out of it and just get official curriculum to avoid being seen." Kosh replied with a sigh, looking down for a moment, before looking back up at her. "Starfleet Intelligence want to keep my anonymity. They were to have plans to place me under an assumed name and reputation in order to obtain information about Cardassian movements and the Obsidian Order. Had I been discovered walking about Starfleet Academy, they were certain it would be impossible to place me anywhere for what they had planned." He uncrossed his arms and shrugged slightly. "I am certain that may be one of the reasons I am onboard. My experience in how Cardassians work and think. Territories and hidden depots. Even slapping on a Cardassian Uniform and utilizing one of my covers."

"I don't see any of those options being a serious possibility while you're aboard the Endeavour," Isabella said. "We're being assigned to deep space exploration duties, and while I'm sure there are always slim chances that we will be assigned to a mission or operations involving Starfleet Intelligence, I highly doubt that it will be a reoccurring scenario. However you arrived at your position in Starfleet, you're here. I'm sure that Starfleet Command has their reasons for your assignment to the Endeavour, and while you're here I intend to see to it that you are treated as fairly as any other officer assigned to this ship."

Standing, Isabella walked around the desk and nodded solemnly. "I hope you're time aboard the Endeavour becomes easier, for both you and your family. If I can do anything to help, please let me know." Offering a small, friendly smile, she nodded once more before she started towards the door.

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